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the leaves are changing and so are we

October 21, 2022

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Hello, fall! Here in the Pacific Northwest, we had an exceptional beginning of fall with warm temps as the leaves changed and began to fall. I loved every warm and bright minute of it.

Today marks the first rainy, chilly day of the year and it feels so right. It marks the beginning of a new season in the city as well as a new season of life for our family. The boys and I have gone through some significant changes in the past month, some of which look very different than they did even a few weeks ago.

Beau

Sweet Beau Bear. Holy transformation. B turned six months old on September 24th and he became a completely different baby.

  • Sleeping on his tummy
  • Sitting up on his own
  • Eating solids from a highchair
  • Rolling across the room
  • First tooth emerged
  • Sleeping in his own room (halle-freaking-lujah!)

These are appropriate developmental milestones but it’s amazing how quickly, we as parents, forget how fast it all comes at this stage of babyhood.

We eat at the table as a family of four, everyone has their own room, and we can no longer leave Beau at his playmat for more than a minute. If we do, he’ll be clear across the room with his brother’s car in his mouth!

Jack

My curious, busy firstborn. After months of talking about it, and marking the countdown on his calendar, we finally did it. Jack is in a big boy’s bed AKA a full-size bed. He tells strangers about how he’s three and a half and he has a “big boy bed with Disney Cars sheets!”

My favorite part of his new room is the model cars from his Great Grandpa, Papa GG. Pictured above are a Transcon mack truck and a small fire truck. Papa GG was a truck driver for much of his career and he drove that same type of Transcon mack truck. Pretty cool!

As you can also see, Jack sleeps however he damn well pleases in that bed and I love it. Why sleep on the pillows when you can sleep upside down on the quilt?!

After a few weeks in his new bed, another big milestone arrived in a most surprising fashion. Jack has officially dropped his big, sweet, parent-loving three-hour midday nap. The nap has been replaced with quiet time and it’s been surprisingly easy for him to adjust to than I would have guessed. He enjoys being alone in his room to read or play games on his tablet. Not every day, but most days. The days he doesn’t want to be alone are pretty long for mama but we’re figuring it out together.

It’s been harder for me to adjust as I relied on that break in the middle of the day. However, the dropped nap means an earlier bedtime which has given Zach and me more downtime together or separately in the evening. That has been a huge win.

Me

As for me, on September 9th, I officially resigned from my beloved learning design role with lululemon. I am thrilled, nervous, relieved, excited, anxious, and so many things. Above all, I feel incredibly content and certain about my decision. 

I took great pride in being a working mom. I loved the strength and power that came from making my own money that contributed to our family. I was ambitious in growing in my career at the stores, the distribution center, and then finally my dream work-from-home role. I loved working for lululemon. I loved (and still love!) my coworkers. Working for that organization and amongst goal-getters changed my life. It has not been an easy thing to let go of. 

But I had to listen to my gut. The one that’s been nudging me about this for the past three years. During those years, I made some intentional choices about how I might design my life if I were able to leave my corporate role. I became a pre/postnatal yoga teacher to provide a service to new moms. I became a Beautycounter consultant to support other women in taking better care of themselves. And I started this blog to challenge the status quo of settling down. These were things I could call my own and still have the flexibility to be available full-time to my children.

My managers, coworkers, and team were incredibly supportive. They know my heart and celebrate my choice. It was bittersweet to share the news with them. 

I want to acknowledge that working motherhood versus stay-at-home motherhood can be an emotionally charged topic. Opinions are strong and defensiveness can arise. I know I am lucky to be able to make the choice. I will be forever grateful that Zach would have supported my decision either way and how he’s adapted to being the sole financial provider. Having lived in both roles (SAHM vs. working mom) I know the perks and drawbacks of each. There is no easy path or better type of mom.  

I am still getting in the groove of having two kids and processing the foreseeable future without going back to work. When my head hits the pillow at the end of the day, I have never been more exhausted and completely fulfilled. I am content. 

Where there is change, there is growth.

I am typically uncomfortable with change. I never run towards it, I take little steps before I feel ready to get out of my comfort zone. As I continue to navigate this wild, messy, wonderful life I am reminded that where there is change, there is also growth. That’s where the good stuff happens.

Seeing my boys fearlessly and confidently embrace the changes in their little worlds also reminds me to do the same. Try not to hold on so tight to routine or rely on the predictable. We’ve had so much fun watching them these past few weeks in their new normals. It’s a sweet spot, the newness of it all, and I’m soaking up every minute of my new normal with them.

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